Friday, January 1, 2010

Labyrinth vs. Twilight

One of my very favorite movies is The Labyrinth, starring David Bowie. Watching it the other day (for about the 5,000th time), I realized how different yet similar the movies of, say, ten years ago are from today.

For instance, Twilight. I knoooow. Contain your sigh and get over it. Here are some facts to support how much awesomer The Labyrinth is.

Fact One: The Goblin King made sparkling cool WAY before Edward. When he comes into Sarah's bedroom in that first scene, complete with sparkly cape and sparkly hair and sparkly air, and waves his magic ball around, you basically die. Edward's effect was much less dramatic. Suck it, Edward. Not literally.

Fact Two: The Goblin King musically pwns. Edward made a lullably with his fiddly-fingers. Aww, how sweet. David Bowie made Within You (which isn't as pedophiliac-y as the title sounds, promise) and As the World Falls Down and Magic Dance.

Fact Three: The Goblin King's attempts to kill Sarah are much more creative than Edward's. Edward just sulks and sometimes looks constipated. GK sends The Cleaners (a ginormous knife-wielding machine) on Sarah, gives her a semi-poisonous peach, and then sends her to the Bog of Eternal Stench. Vicioooous. See how much he loves her?

Fact Four: Whereas Bella is weak-minded (I like Twilight, but you can't argue this), Sarah is so strong-willed the Goblin King goes ape-shit crazy and makes time move and stuffz. Despite his wry charms and The Pants, he "holds no power over" Sarah. Rock that girl power, S!

Fact Five: True, people may be creeped out by David Bowie's obvious elder-ness to Sarah, but HELLO! Edward is 100-something, dude, and you gals don't find that the least bit revolting.

Convinced of my fandom? That's what I thought. So...guess what?

There. Are. Books.

Well, mangas. I've actually never read a manga before, but I'm thinking this is a great time to start. I got all three of them for Christmas, and they continue to tell the happenings in the Labyrinth world after Sarah leaves.

How. Cool. Is. That? If you've already seen the movie, you should most definitely read them alongside me. If you haven't seen the movie, you should most definitely go to Blockbusters or get a rifle.

24 comments:

  1. So much win, Chels. SO. MUCH. WIN.
    *runs off to watch Labyrinth...again*

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  2. I have never seen Labyrinth and now that I have read this I do nto need to. SUCCESS!

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  3. lol! I had never thought of comparing these two.

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  4. hahah that made me chuckle. :D

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  5. Labyrinth is one of my all time favorite movies! I, too, must get those books!

    Best line ever: You have no power over me!

    Danielle

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  6. You remind me of the babe.
    What babe?
    The babe with the power.
    What power?
    The power of voodoo.

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  7. Too funny Chels. Hate you for making me loooove the movie!

    dance magic dance....

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  8. Ha. Great post. It is SO alike.

    I'm proud of you though. An ENTIRE post and not one mention of David Bowie's pants.

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  9. Agreed on all points of Twilight's faults, but I have never seen that. Think I should now though... Plus, Mom loves David Bowie, so win/win. ;)

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  10. Oh Erica, but there is, there is...

    I can't tell you how much I'm loving this. I never noticed his sparklies before, but does he have them. And he makes them look good. And manly, which is no easy feat. I'm so glad you love one of my favorite movies.

    The creative killing - most hilarious argument ever.

    And yes, there are indeed books. Gotta love the Japanese for that. This movie is right up their alley. But I can't believe you've never read manga before. Chelsea, really? Welcome to the wide world of it. Did you know there apparently was supposed to be a kissing scene between the GK and Sarah? During the ball scene. But test audiences thought it was too much (age differences) and so they cut it. And yet, they left the pants...

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  11. Wait, there are people who've never watched Labyrinth? Is that possible?

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  12. *blinks*

    Do you have any idea how close I came to going completely bat shit crazy on you for even bringing the mere mention of Twishite next to the glory of Labyrinth? DO YOU?

    Don't. Ever. Do. That. To. Me. Again. EVER.

    Redemption. You haz it. Kudos, for you have been saved.

    LONG LIVE THE CROTCH MONSTER!

    Oh, did you know there's a movie novelization as well? http://www.amazon.com/Labyrinth-Novel-C-H-Smith/dp/0030073227/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262490921&sr=1-1 Don't look at the prices. You'll faint. But if you do end up getting your hands on copy, it offers to much more insight into the movie. The sexual tension and subtext is so much more prevalent in the book. Total win.

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  13. your website is excellent, thanks for the information.


    LATEST CELEBRITIES NEWS

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  14. I agree with every word you said!

    You HAVE to read those mengas! I died a little - in a good way.
    The 4th (and last) should be out this year.

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  15. Wow! Can you believe I had never heard of this movie? Your comparison with Twilight made it whoosh straight on my to-be-seen list though :)

    Thanks for recommending it :)

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  16. OMG - You are crawling around in my head putting together puzzle pieces without me even knowing!

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  17. I've never heard of the Labyrinth - guess I have to check it out.

    You must read manga, Chelsea. Especially now that you've started. Some plotlines are definitely better than others, but manga, as a general rule, pwns.

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  18. This post is definitely full of win.

    I can't believe in reading the comments that some people have never seen Labyrinth. Didn't ya'll get the Disney channel as a kid? They used to show it over and over and over.

    I can remember being enraptured by this movie as a small child. Then craving it as a teen, enough to buy the VHS of it while visiting Connecticut. I later went on to buy the DVD. I know, fascinating. Actually there's a special edition at the store I work at which I really really want to purchase because the cover is holographic. Yeah, it's badass.

    You know what else is badass? Driving around blaring Chilly Down as opposed to some rap song!

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  19. I've discovered Labyrinth 3 days ago. (Yep, another one of those who hasn't seen it as a kid. Wasn't shown in my small European country.) I'm sooo in love with Jareth right now :)

    I could get my hands on the novel in txt format here

    http://www.astrolog.org/labyrnth/novel.txt

    many thanks to the one who put it online :)

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  20. OMGOMGOMG Anon, you rock!! Thank you!

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  21. I stumbled across your site, and have to say I loved this. You are so right! I'm no Twilight fan to begin with, so this made my day, and made me laugh. The Pants... lol. Jareth = epic win. He made sparkles! Loved this movie since childhood, and still do. Thank you so much for a great read. :)

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  22. Well, I'm too lazy to look through all of the comments to check, but Twilight has it's own manga now too.... however I do agree that Labyrinth trumps Twilight, any day, any time. ANY DECADE. But I must say, one of the best parts about Laby-Fandom is the HUGE cult fallowing fanbase.... it's AH-MAZ-ING

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